
這是個不規律的生活,從情緒起伏不定那天開始,我以為能夠釋懷,竟也折騰了我好些日子。
如今我即看開,那些東西都不是強求的,那些東西在我的生活似乎也不是必備的,只是可以滋潤的芳香罷了。 想用言語與文字溢出心中的種種,卻又發現這一切不是那麼簡單及三言兩語可以說完。 最難以啟齒的,往往是心中心中的花吧。
心中心中的花,在某年某月播下,在豔陽及雨水的滋補下,逐漸茁壯,翠綠的葉片直往天上伸長,繁茂翁鬱。 偶爾一點乾旱烈陽,不堪,縮委沒有自信,就要漸漸乾涸凋謝了。 但那場即時雨會注入我生命的力量,快萎去的葉子又綠了起來。 偶爾一場狂風怒號,無奈,任由著大自然的力量將我摧殘,留下的是零碎不完整。 但又總有會好心人,講我打理,將我撫慰,讓我不再憔悴不再狼狽。
總是有那麼一段開花的時光,一朵朵一朵朵都芬芳青春了好久,含苞待放,綻開,燦爛,極致的漂亮,然後顫抖、飄下……落了一地的悲傷在我心上 這花兒勇敢的追求不朽,風兒笑破他的大牙,凜列的颼她一下,颼的她絕望又遍體鱗傷。 以為花兒會放棄,可是她沒有,她揚揚的朝著天空吶喊,他會等待那一天的到來。
我以為我會釋懷,可是我沒有,又有什麼資格傾聽呢? 我知道我們不同,但不接受的是我不喜歡的,為什麼不喜歡,無奈。 沒有什麼好改變的,想要逃避卻又是個不智的決定,在失去疏遠時才知道要珍惜,人阿!
老了,漸漸學習包容,有人認為這不是個好字眼,但我敢說這是維持和平的最佳方式,畢竟誰又能輕易的挑起你的忍耐線。 最後受傷的一定不會是自己,但失去最多的,真正受害的是幼稚無知的自己阿。 常以為好像是成熟的想法,在上帝看來不過是一根蘆葦桿子,在招搖搖曳著蘆葦花,好蠢。 迄今,只是在反覆做著同樣的事情,不能貪心的要兩全,但可以痴心的等待,就像等待總有一天兩岸會和平。
時間會圓潤一切,但我所剩的又是多少年華?
張曼娟說:「青春是冰做的風鈴。」清脆、透明而閃亮,易碎、搖擺而糾結,這是段人生的歷程,我學習。 辛苦的是把心裡話拿出來比喻,好難。
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